Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Could this book be any better?
Matthew Perry did a fantastic job of giving his readers a peek into his life and his big terrible thing. Geez… that sounded kinda bad, didn’t it?
While what he is talking about in his memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing, is no laughing matter, Matthew Perry tells it in such a way that had me laughing out loud. Many times (see the Chevy Chase tennis match).
All jokes aside, He really digs down deep into the painful void that he tried to fill with opiates and alcohol, taking sometimes as many as 55 pills in a day just to get by—and even sometimes then, it wasn’t enough. Addiction is such a powerful and manipulative disease in which the odds are completely stacked against you, making you feel like you are never enough.
What this book may lack from the writing aspect, it is totally made up for as Matthew Perry tells his story. What he has to say about Addiction is so spot on.
“Alcoholics hate two things: The way things are and change.” –Matthew Perry
Talk about being caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. In the closing at most AA meetings the serenity prayer is said:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.. but what do you do if you cannot accept the things you cannot change? You just get don’t get any serenity? That seems a little unfair.
Courage to change the things that I can. It absolutely takes courage to change. Change of any kind is hard, but for the still suffering addict? It feels all but impossible. Remember, change is one of the very two things that they hate.
And the wisdom to know the difference… Growing up in an alcoholic home, then later in life marrying not only one, but two alcoholics, I’ve seen firsthand what addiction can do, not only to your personal life, but also the havoc in can wreck in your professional life. –Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that it has, by any means made me into a wise person— maybe a wiseass if you ask most of my friends and family, but hey… whaddo they know, eh?
But it has given me a unique perspective on the disease. One of the most fascinating things that I have learned in my many stints as a support person for someone I love going through treatment, is that even though you may quit actively using, the disease has not quit. It is silently progressing, trying to will you into a relapse, and if or when you do relapse, it does not start over from square one or give you credit for sober time served.
It is right there rearing its ugly head in the same place that you left it, demanding to be fed just as much as it had the last time.
This disease picks up right where you left off. There is no starting over, no collecting two hundred dollars as you pass go.
Matthew Perry said, Alcoholism kicks in and goes, “Hey, remember me? Nice to see you again. Now, give me just as much as you did last time or I’ll kill you or make you crazy.” He is absolutely right. It does and it will.
As he reflects on how his life came to be and the course his life took as he rose to stardom he says, “You never know where one thing will lead… the lesson is , take every opportunity, because something might come of it.” Which for someone so full of fear, is actually quite brave. Have faith in yourself, better days are ahead!
If you, or someone you know needs help with a drinking or drug addiction problem, there is help available.
You can find help by calling the Alcoholics Anonymous national hotline for free at 866-210-1303
or online at www.aa.org
The Narcotics Anonymous hotline 1-818-773-9999 or at www.na.org
For the friends and family of the addict, Alanon can be a valuable resource www.al-anon.org
Suicide Help Line 800-273-Talk
If you haven’t already read his memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing, you can buy it here on Amazon or get it for free when you sign up for a free trial from Audible.
Until next time, stay brash, stay bookish and above all else, stay true to you!
